Letter from the shopping center…

I read this and thought immediately that this could be a letter about Steve Quick, with the luck has has been having and the pranks he can think of…? So Steve, enjoy… I could imaging you doing quite a few of these…

Dear Mrs. Pease,

Over the past six months, your ultra-runner friend has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Quick are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3.July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved the ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
9. September 4th: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna Look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: He hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed by, he yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’and last, but not least.
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.!

Regards, Manager

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

2 responses to “Letter from the shopping center…

  1. SteveQ

    OMG! That could’ve been me at age 20! Is there some time warp in the metro? (and I have actually hidden in a clothing rack)I once went to a salon in the Lumber Exchange building in downtown Mpls. and tried to exchange yellow pine for white.

  2. SteveQ

    Oh, and I have a photo of me with a tent set up in front of an office at the U of MN.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s