Yes, I can be stupid!

The past few weeks some fellow bloggers stated some funny moments in their running career. I’ll start this off with my own attempt at a funny running story. Humor is relative and this feels a bit risky, but here it goes…

As the day of my first 10K a few years ago, the weather was very warm and humid. I have been running for a few years and I have learned some lessons the hard way. But I had a blessed gift of forgetting the simple important things and seemed I had the pleasure of learning them all over again. Making a wardrobe selection for my first race was one of those lessons. Lesson: Don’t wear cotton on races longer than 5K, especially when it will be hot or wet or both. My lack of experience mind chose my favorite old cotton T-Shirt that had so much training miles.

The race was difficult due to the weather and I was sweating before we started! About a mile into the race, my nice light gray shirt was dark gray… About 2 and miles into the race nipple friction reared it’s ugly head. I could tell if I kept going there would be a bloody price to pay. Now what do I do? My race number was pinned to my shirt and it was soaking wet, clinging to me. I got this bright idea! Slip out of the armholes and wear it around my neck until I got close to the finish and then put it back on before the finish. I was so smart! I was the king of the 10 K improve runner that day!

My brilliance was great and nipple was not bloody. I was so smart… Then the last mile came. Now keep in mind this was years ago when I thought I had muscles everyone wanted to see. The shirts I wore were tight… Recall this shirt, which was one size to small, was drenched in sweat. Imagine trying to get dressed running a 6 minute mile when the clothes did not fit? Not only that, the shirt had four pins holding on the number! So I took it off and put one are through the neck and the other through the hole. Running along I could not see the simple error. I was fumbling around like a man trying to get out of a strait jacket!

Well I had less than ½ mile to go and this was a 10K for the North Dakota State University Homecoming. I come to a group of co-eds who saw me fumbling like an idiot when one yelled “yea baby, take it off, take it all off!” This was followed by what I thought must have been my first and only Chippendales experience (the sounds, hoots and hollers I was getting.)

So me being a shy farm boy had never had the experience of a women screaming for me to take it all off… And with my heart rate over 160, I think it went to 170 just with those perverted thoughts that went through my head. So as I was coming down the last 300 yards, I was fumbling with the shirt, being screamed at by great looking women that I did not see that little raise sewer cover. Just a little bit higher than the pavement. My shoe hit it perfectly. I flew through the air, my arms caught in my shirt and no way to break the fall.

One of the my friends said she saw me bounce and roll… I had scraped the side of my head, blood from my left harm and leg. I got up, embarrassed as I could be, and finished in 36:42. My first and best ever 10 K! I was so embarrassed, I ran right to the car and left… Thinking back, I got the PR, as I was not thinking about the race, the pace or other mental mistakes I now make while running. I was so wrapped up (no pun intended) in that shirt, I just ran. And made a complete ass of myself…

Carry on…



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3 responses to “Yes, I can be stupid!

  1. SteveQ

    Welcome to my world!

  2. Diane

    Thanks for sharing… that’s the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile!

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