I have changed the blog title. It went from “Time to…” which was essentially a message to get serious. Now I am calling it “Quest to enjoy running again…” as it is hard to get serious about something you can not, or want to do, right? Been a while and I long for that passion you all know and feel. I have read many are losing it… Adam suffered the same feeling a while back. Julie was expressing a loss of passion. I think they got the mojo back? Anyway, that is the reason for a new title. What else is new? not much.
I have completed two workouts since Grandma’s. Both weight lifting sessions. Why? I got the result of the MRI on the knee and now it hurts. I had the MRI 10 days before grandma’s. I decided not to get the results until after Grandma’s. I was in pain, but I had had pain for 18 months prior so I just ignored it.
So the results. A major meniscus tear, calcium deposits (peritendinitis calcarea), and ACL damage. I know when I tore the meniscus, March 2008. I have worked through that but the ACL and Calcium issue came earlier this year when my knee got torqued abruptly by a human and a dog… I recall that night when I had pain like no other. We assume it was ACL damage that night and bleeding internally caused the calcium issues. So that is what caused me not to recover from the meniscus tear.
The level of damage to the ACL will be known during my July 17 surgery. The meniscus will be cleaned up then as well. I have been told I will start rehab shortly after the surgery and it will take 8-12 weeks before I am doing normal activities. Then build back the miles. October… Just in time for cold to start!
What is funny, I had minimal, manageable pain before I got the results from the MRI. Now, I hurt all the time. I notice it all the time. But really, nothing changed. It is just the mind doing these games.
Kind of how I look back at my 100-mile attempt in 2007. Most of the pain that made me quit at 77 miles was there at 50 miles. My mind allowed them to overtake me. I still regret that DNF. That was the last race on a good knee.
What has been so hard is the depressed state from little activity and the letdown of having no real goal any longer after completing the 25-year grandma’s finisher goal… I just cannot get it together. Thank god it is not winter, as I have the pool to keep me sane, barely…
I will be out at Afton at the start. I was going to volunteer officially but decided just to take my camera and float around and take a few hundred photos’ to post and share… Will be fun. Sure will want to join the runners (especially those back of the pack friends I miss!) but I know I cannot. At least my mind will not let me.