New blog title… The mind? A goal? Surgery…

I have changed the blog title. It went from “Time to…” which was essentially a message to get serious. Now I am calling it “Quest to enjoy running again…” as it is hard to get serious about something you can not, or want to do, right? Been a while and I long for that passion you all know and feel. I have read many are losing it… Adam suffered the same feeling a while back. Julie was expressing a loss of passion. I think they got the mojo back? Anyway, that is the reason for a new title. What else is new? not much.

I have completed two workouts since Grandma’s. Both weight lifting sessions. Why? I got the result of the MRI on the knee and now it hurts. I had the MRI 10 days before grandma’s. I decided not to get the results until after Grandma’s. I was in pain, but I had had pain for 18 months prior so I just ignored it.

So the results. A major meniscus tear, calcium deposits (peritendinitis calcarea), and ACL damage. I know when I tore the meniscus, March 2008. I have worked through that but the ACL and Calcium issue came earlier this year when my knee got torqued abruptly by a human and a dog… I recall that night when I had pain like no other. We assume it was ACL damage that night and bleeding internally caused the calcium issues. So that is what caused me not to recover from the meniscus tear.

The level of damage to the ACL will be known during my July 17 surgery. The meniscus will be cleaned up then as well. I have been told I will start rehab shortly after the surgery and it will take 8-12 weeks before I am doing normal activities. Then build back the miles. October… Just in time for cold to start!

What is funny, I had minimal, manageable pain before I got the results from the MRI. Now, I hurt all the time. I notice it all the time. But really, nothing changed. It is just the mind doing these games.

Kind of how I look back at my 100-mile attempt in 2007. Most of the pain that made me quit at 77 miles was there at 50 miles. My mind allowed them to overtake me. I still regret that DNF. That was the last race on a good knee.

What has been so hard is the depressed state from little activity and the letdown of having no real goal any longer after completing the 25-year grandma’s finisher goal… I just cannot get it together. Thank god it is not winter, as I have the pool to keep me sane, barely…

I will be out at Afton at the start. I was going to volunteer officially but decided just to take my camera and float around and take a few hundred photos’ to post and share… Will be fun. Sure will want to join the runners (especially those back of the pack friends I miss!) but I know I cannot. At least my mind will not let me.

On another note… My car finally died. By definition, at 150,000 miles, cost to much to repair. So I finally got new wheels. And it is fun! I needed a lift…
Carry on.

Advertisements

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

4 responses to “New blog title… The mind? A goal? Surgery…

  1. SteveQ

    If the new car dies, you could probably place it in the bed of a pick up!The one good thing about a serious injury is that it usually makes you want to run again, just because you can't. I go through the running blahs every now and then and fortunately, I'm out of them right now. You'll be back before you know it.

  2. RunWesty

    I agree with Steve as always. Nice car.Before my knee surgeries running motivation was tough. After the surgery and recovery once I set a new goal the motivation returned.

  3. Beth

    I'm glad that you have your surgery and rehab planned so you can get your knee healthy again. The motivation will come with the healing. Until then, enjoy the pool and the super cool car. Keep us updated!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s