Same old complaints….

You have heard this before. My weight is always been an issue for me. I can gain and lose 10 pounds a week. Lately more gains than losses! I have been working out and tracking everything I eat. I have been working out (Cardio) 30-45 minutes a day. I feel so much stronger and the knee hurts very little. I even went 3.1 MPH at a 15% incline for 40 minutes on the hamster wheel… I have been eating 2,200 to 2,700 calories daily. Nutrition has been very balanced. I lift weights in a full routine 2 or 3 times a week.

And I have gained all I lost in the past two weeks (5 pounds) and 3 pounds in addition to where I was 3 weeks ago. WTF is all I can say in a kind way. I am at 268. That is 30 pounds over last October and 65 pounds over my 2006 50 mile weight. I am only 34 pounds before I get to where I peaked in 2005.

Now many may get tired of all this complaining I seem to continue doing. But I am using this blog right now just to vent. It pisses me off… Makes me mad!

I want to go get a great big pail of ice cream I have been avoiding for weeks and eat what makes me happy. But instead I am heading to the gym for the second time today, I will ride the bike for an hour, then go home, eat a 500-700 calorie well balanced dinner (not enjoyable) and pout.

I can only hope that the big increase this AM was caused by water gain from my heavy lifting workout yesterday and tomorrow morning (I weight each AM) I will see a decrease. If not, I will just keep on this same path as I know from experience, losing weight, getting healthy and successfully running an ultra are never always fun! The reward comes from the success that only comes after all the pain, frustration and agony! I need to Carry on!!!! Not let the scale bother me as long as I feel stronger and I am not junking it out!

As I close, I just found out Pamela McNeill is having her CD release party on the same night as the UMTR party (November 14). The party starts at 9 PM at Bunkers so I can attend both, I just will leave UTMR at 8 PM. For those who do not know Pamela McNeill she is quite a accomplished signer/songwriter in the Metro area. I have an old post about her (All you quiet dreamers carry on) and close with her typical closing “Carry on”. If you read that post you know the special meaning that her music has for me as well as the phrase “carry on”. (Just writing this brings a lump to my throat and a tear to the eye. I wonder if I will ever not feel immense pain and sorrow from unexpected deaths?)

Anyway, I also support local musicians when I have a chance. (As long as I like the music.) If anyone likes the music, it should be a great night.

Maybe tomorrow I will break my foot drop kicking the scale? Either way, I need to keep pushing onward and remember to be happy!

Carry on!



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7 responses to “Same old complaints….

  1. Beth

    I'm glad I'm not the only runner that yo-yo's with weight. I have ten pounds that I put on and then take off. I worked hard to lose 3 pounds and blew it this week when I couldn't stop eating the junk food. Two pounds are now back. I'm determined to get the now 9 pounds off before the holidays turn it into something more.I appreciated your older post and am sorry for the loss of your friend. It's profound when we find an artist that articulates our deepest feelings. I'm glad you found Pamela and I'm sorry that you still hurt from your loss of Dana.

  2. Diane

    I hear you, and vent away!My goal that I started about 9 days ago is to lose 20lb, bringing me to my "perfect weight". I'm not overweight per se, but I'm higher than where I'd like to be (150lbs at 5'8"). We'll see how it goes. I do well for 2-3 weeks at a time and then tend to fall apart. Maybe we can motivate each other?

  3. SteveQ

    The scale can be a nasty beast sometimes. You do everything right and the numbers go the wrong way. Just stick with the plan and it'll work out eventually.

  4. Karen G

    Never give up. Everything counts.

  5. Helen

    If I had one wish it would be that I could eat my daily donought (ok, maybe 3) and not have to run 10 miles to counteract it!!! Keep at it – as you say, the results are worth it. It's those first few weeks that are the toughest – once you start to see some results and feel better it sort of turns from a viscious cycle into… the opposite – whatever that term is!See you at Surf!PS I love the profile pic!! Is that a photo of a picture you got done or a photo-shop job?

  6. Anonymous

    Don't give up, Londell – it's worth it! I don't struggle with weight, but my husband does. Since I've know him, I've taken in more calories on a daily basis than him and he still doesn't lose the weight. It's not fair that some people have to fight this battle, but not a reason to give up. I'm sure the others in your life are proud that you continue to fight this!Molly

  7. bryan

    I know exactly how you feel Londell! I've had the same experience many times.I guess the most persistent take-away thing I've learned is to avoid giving in to discouragement, and explicitly remind myself instead of what has gone right over the long term. There is a term for the opposite of a vicious cycle, that Helen was fishing for, it's a "virtuous cycle": staying mindful of the good you've achieved and using it to encourage yourself to accomplish more good.Thanks in advance for volunteering at Surf, and see you there!

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